5 Common Communication Problems In Couples
Some communication problems in couples last for years. They start as small things, but eventually become habits. And unfortunately, they hinder the identification and solution of many of the problems that arise between two people who love each other.
The foundation of romantic relationships is communication. After all, that’s how you express your feelings, thoughts and desires, right? If there is good communication in a couple, everything else flows much easier. But when it is distorted or collapses, new problems elsewhere in the relationship can emerge.
Most communication problems in couples occur due to fear or immaturity. You stop looking at your loved one as a partner, and instead take a defensive attitude towards them. This is very common, so it may be a good idea to take a self-assessment to find out if this applies to you in this case. Detecting this early can save you a lot of pain.
5 common communication problems in couples
1 – Absolutism
Absolutism is a form of extremism used in conversation – and it can do great harm. It means having an egocentric perspective on the world. It also involves an inability to understand how nuanced life is. In other words, absolutism is a difficulty in understanding and accepting perspectives other than your own.
It is one of the most common errors found when it comes to communication problems in couples. And it is closely linked to ulitmatum. “If you love me, you will not make me feel bad.” As if humans were not filled to the brim with paradoxes and contradictions. A result of absolutism is when one party imposes a certain behavior on the other party. You “have to” behave this way and that way. You “have to” do your thing.
2 – Selectivity or tunnel vision
You fall into the trap of selectivity or tunnel vision when you interpret everything through a single lens. Unfortunately, this lens is negative. Everything with your better half seems to be wrong for you. Even the good stuff.
Tunnel vision is actually one of the most common forms of communication problems in couples. And one of the most harmful. It is as if you feel an urge to correct your loved one all the time. To constantly point out how weak they are, or how much mistake they make. It is a classic form of communication for people who are unable to confront the real, underlying problem.
3 – Extremism
When it comes to communication, extremism is very similar to absolutism. Nevertheless, we are talking here more about emotional reactions. Body language, facial expressions and emotions are also part of the communication. In this case, you react to every little problem as if it were a true tragedy. Even the most trivial trifle will end in tears and screaming.
Extremism indicates a lack of self-control. It is also likely that a person who uses extremism in communication, compares his partner with the mother or father who was not there for them when they were small children. Ultimately, this will prevent the couple from keeping the lines of communication open and authentic. It also hinders growth and independence.
4 – Assumptions
Is this one of the common communication mistakes that happen in your relationship? Here we are talking about when one person in the relationship thinks they know what the other is thinking. It is based on the idea that they know their partner better than anyone else, and that they even know the intentions and thoughts inside the head of their loved one.
As you can probably imagine, assuming things can lead to big misunderstandings. It reflects a lack of trust and possibly also paranoia. You always try to “read between the lines”. It’s also a way to try to control your better half.
5 – Categorize
When categorizing or boxing, place the other person in the relationship to fit a stereotype. This is very common after a couple has had episodes or quarrels, especially when one party has made a mistake. From then on, the person who failed will always be sentenced to wear a stamp associated with this episode. Perhaps this stamp is called “ruthless”, “careless” or “irresponsible”. Whatever it is, it’s just a stamp. It does not take into account how complex we humans are and that we are constantly changing.
These are just a few of the most common examples of harmful communication problems in couples. The worst thing is that they can get in the way of understanding and trusting each other. Do not let it get in the way of the love you feel for each other.
