An Armor Falls When You Caress The Soul
An armor is a symbol that one has suffered too much. It is the protection people choose to use to stop things from getting worse, to avoid ending up broken. It’s a defense mechanism, their temporary rescue, and their way of quietly telling the world “Enough!” on.
Living with an armor is not an easy task, because beneath it hides a fear of being damaged. This is one of the most crippling fears a person can experience. Fear makes you set up barriers, stop feeling, and live a stunned life. Life tears you apart and wears you out to the point that you prefer to protect yourself and stop feeling as much as possible instead of experiencing the pain of your wounds.
Wear and tear caused by suffering
Life is not a path to guaranteed happiness. Uncertainty, instability and suffering are things you will find along the journey. You will confront them better if you are able to anticipate them and prepare yourself. No one is immune to suffering, but it is important that you learn to deal with it. Otherwise, darkness can consume you.
Dealing with the blows and healing one’s wounds is not an easy task. You do not always have the best support system, resources or strategies, and even when you do, you sometimes do not know how to use them. Some people handle disappointment and unexpected events better. Others let these things affect their mood. And others decide to protect themselves in order to limit their suffering. Now, the method you choose will somehow affect your daily life.
Yet, no matter how you choose to confront your suffering, when it decides to stay by your side, it generates physical and emotional consequences. On the one hand, it catches you in its reluctance, in the absence of absolute motivation and joy ( anhedonia ). If you do not keep an eye on it, it can send you straight down the road to depression or anxiety. On the other hand, it wears you out physically. It breaks you down, takes away all the energy you have. In fact, at a deeper level, it reduces the release of serotonin and increases the amount of cortisol in your system.
The false protection of an armor
Each of us has our own armor, our own defense mechanism, our own personal shield to protect us from pain. It’s a normal part of life. Somehow you have to protect the most delicate part of your being. You need to be strong against possible threats and setbacks.
The problem arises when you put on this armor, but do not let go of it later . That is, it takes over your life and ends up as a very conservative filter through which you observe the world. Setting up walls isolates you, not only from suffering and insecurity, but also from love and any kind of social experience.
Be careful
In an attempt to protect yourself, you end up boycotting yourself to the point that you block yourself emotionally. Not to feel, not to suffer. You repeat this inadequate strategy because at some point it ensured your survival. You should be careful because you may end up paying a very high price to use it. And the price is to end up empty inside. It is the small text of the contract that you do not always read or remember before you start setting up barriers.
Then again, this emptiness translates into an absence of emotion, an absence of the ability to feel alive and to connect with others. Thus, it is not uncommon for you to soon end up as a prey for what you feared, suffering. Who was it that said that not feeling something makes you not suffer ?
An armor is an unconscious trap that links you to discomfort hidden as feelings of protection and security. That is why it is so important to identify and reflect on the different types of defense mechanisms.
The art of caressing your soul
Often, those who hide behind an armor tend to use defensive attitudes so much that they end up distancing themselves from everyone else. Their fear of being hurt is so strong that they, even without wanting to, drive them all away. Even someone with the simple intention of getting to know them and, in some cases, loving them. This happens because if you protect yourself so strongly, it is usually because you have been a victim of love grief.
To avoid reopening their wounds, they act like rabid animals that protect their territory. The other person, any other person, becomes an enemy. Any small contact with the armor of someone trying to protect themselves can lead to grief.
What antidote can convert all this damage? Is there a remedy that can break down the armor of people who have gone through so much suffering? Can we help them destroy this armor? First of all, it is important to point out that the armor is being destroyed slowly, little by little. It is a process that requires a dose of love, understanding, patience, acceptance, and of course effort.
An armor is not a magical solution
As you can see, there is no magic solution that will fix this. A deep connection with the other person and of course with yourself can help. Therefore, everyone who interacts with a person in armor must understand that most of the time it is not them who speak, it is their fear. It is the big monster that possesses them and makes them believe that not feeling anything is the best way to avoid pain. Understanding their fears will be a very important aspect of the relationship, as well as showing love and letting go of demands for improvement. That is, you must learn to caress their souls, touch their sensibilities, and make them feel protected.
Most of the effort comes from the one who created the armor. They are the ones who must understand that avoiding suffering in the medium and long term generates more suffering. Despite the fact that life is not always easy, suffering is just another chapter of their history. Thus, they must get rid of their guilt and the tough, rigid attitude to embrace themselves and take the first step towards love. Because treating yourself well when you are injured is the best healing power.
