I Want To Overcome The Past, But I Do Not Know How

It is said that the past is a constant work in progress. This means that it lives in us in some way. It is inevitable. We must overcome the past, otherwise the negative things that happened then will be stuck in our own abyss.

Miguel Hernandez’s poem says: “Everything goes and everything remains, but we must pass.” This is exactly what we mean. It is impossible to escape from our past or the traces of negative experiences we went through. Therefore, overcoming the past is essentially moving forward.

The only way to overcome the past is to look it straight in the face and study it thoroughly. We need to identify the way it shaped us and learn something from it. If we do not analyze our past and put it away in a corner instead, it will continue to pull us back.

Our past is immutable

One factor that prevents us from overcoming the past is our difficulty in accepting what happened, and that there is no going back. This may seem obvious, but humans can be irrational creatures. Even though we complain about any negative event that happened in our lives and it is not helpful, we do it sometimes anyway.

This happens when we have untreated feelings about any negative event that scares us. It is also possible that there is some degree of guilt involved. Other times we have a hard time forgiving an offense, complaint or wrongdoing against us. On top of not being able to forgive others, we can not even forgive ourselves. Consciously or unconsciously, we punish ourselves for doing something we see as bad.

Reflecting on the past raises a question: is it possible to fix what happened? The answer is that, if there is still something that can be done to fix the problem, you should do it. Instead of acting with remorse or regret, simplify what needs to be done to fix the problem. If it is no longer possible to fix the problem, you should be sorry, learn from it and move on from the situation.

To overcome the past, accept it and let it go

When we cannot overcome the past, we find ourselves in imaginary scenarios. We are constantly thinking of “what if” or “if I had done this”. Thinking this way just drags us down. We fantasize about possible outcomes, and we long for a life we ​​do not have. But no matter how much we fantasize, our reality does not change. We are only left with a worsening of our minds and renewed frustration.

Accepting the past means that we accept that things will not go back to the way they were. It does not matter what we do, even if we manage to reverse the damage or the consequences. None of our actions will bring us back to a “yesterday” that no longer exists.

It takes courage to accept, let go, and overcome the past. Overcoming the past is not a passive process. It requires work, and it is an act of perseverance and conviction. While it is important to think about our past, there will come a time when we must leave things behind.

Learn to live in the present

Sometimes it is difficult to say “I will live in the present” and just do it. We need to do more than just say it. Instead, we must actively create environments that bring us to the present. We need circumstances that make us present in the here and now, conditions that require our attention. Sometimes it is necessary to build a new present to overcome the past.

To be in the present, we must cut our ties to the past. We need to at least eliminate as many ties as we can. They say that the best way to leave a situation is to not look back. That is precisely why it is important to get rid of everything that makes us want to look back. Rather, we should concentrate on our current situation and the future. This gives us greater freedom and allows us to reflect on our past without feeling anger or frustration.

Because of this, it is important that we begin to fill our lives with new things. New friends, new hobbies and new interests. This is a good time to renew ourselves and change our lives for the better. We may not have that much enthusiasm in the beginning. Something in us can lead us to continue to do what is known to us. Let’s fight that urge and let life surprise us. However, if you still have difficulty getting out of the past, consider seeking professional help.