The Effects Of Envy In Our Lives

The history of the human race confirms that we are social beings. From the origin of the first hominids to the evolution of different species, men and women have come together, lived with each other and formed societies. We developed feelings and emotions and began to live in social groups. These emotions can in some cases be very harmful. In this article we will talk about the effects of envy in our lives.

The discovery of fire not only allowed us to see better through dark nights, protect us from the cold, or prepare food. It also created the opportunity to meet around the fire and have social contact with each other, closeness and facilitated the first steps towards a primitive dialogue.

Vulnerability and resilience, the ability to face adversity with a straight back, are important aspects. Together with other emotions, they make us go from stability to instability. Of course, they will also drive us to make the necessary changes in our lives. They help people to respond according to the different meanings they attribute to events that occur in their daily lives.

Communication games and the effects of envy

In this chain of events, various “communication games” are developed. They will depend on the personality types and characteristics of each of the participants. In addition, the form of verbal expression, paraverbal or nonverbal communication, the context in which the dialogue is set, and the content of the conversation itself will also be taken into account.

Within this unique human communication, there is thus room for both positive and very toxic “games”.

When two people try to communicate with each other, certain communication rules develop as the dialogue unfolds. However, the complexity of these rules will increase as the number of participants increases. This is when misunderstandings can arise.

Among these “games”, it is the triangular type (dialogue between three people) that usually creates the most problems. Two of the participants often enter into an alliance with the third: the famous “two against one” scenario. Here, the third person often has to endure isolation and rejection from the other two participants. It can come in the form of reprimands, abuse, insults, manipulations, irony and provocations, among others. This type is without a doubt a very toxic form of communication game.

A common aspect of these triangular, two-on-one situations is jealousy and jealousy. A relationship between two people is “invaded” by a real or imagined third party. This will often lead to one of the parties feeling downgraded, because they believe that the other person is getting too close to the third party. This “game” generates anxiety, aggression, guilt, anger and despair, among other toxic emotions.

The effects of envy, a deadly sin

One of the most toxic elements in these relationships is feeling jealousy or envy. It is well known that Catholicism considers envy to be one of seven deadly sins that people can commit. The other sins are pride, anger, laziness, stinginess, gluttony, and fornication. Envy has many effects.

This negative feeling is triggered when the performance and success of someone close to your friend manifests your (apparent) inability in these areas.

What usually happens is that the envious person launches a project to try to undermine the person they envy, in an attempt to destroy their character. They feel so insignificant in the face of other people’s success that they have a need to tear them down to feel superior.

Feeling jealous is not just wanting something other people have. True envy is the same desire, in addition to the fact that they think the person who has it is not worthy, or does not deserve the success they have experienced.

Here it becomes clear that envy is the mother of dissatisfaction and annoyance. A feeling that makes you never want other people to do well, but rather that they will have a hard time and fail.

An envious person becomes like a satellite for the person they envy, and carries the pain within them. If they were to show that pain outwardly, they would declare themselves inferior.

A double-edged sword

Envy is the feeling of dissatisfaction you have when someone else has something you do not have, in addition to the desire to own that thing to such an extent that you are willing to take it from someone else.

In some cases, the envious person does not know about the feelings of the envious person. It is rare that people willingly say “I envy you!”. The jealous person will most often try to hide his feelings, preferring to use sarcasm and write off another person’s success. Manifesting or making their envy clear would be worse for their health.

In a work environment, when a boss envies those who work under them (superior to subordinates), envy creates more complex and unusual patterns of behavior. This becomes even more powerful if the other person is attractive and intelligent. All these virtues will be magnified in the eyes of the envious person.

Devaluation of the other person

One thing the envious person does is devalue the other person’s achievements. They may say things like that the person they are jealous of has only gotten to where they are through political connections or because they are with someone in a higher position. They may also suggest that behind the person’s intelligence lies a dark family drama. An envious football player, for example, will never miss an opportunity to devalue the player they are jealous of, or give them an “unfortunate” kick when they can.

Envy means not respecting either distance or emotional closeness. Also, the effects of jealousy between friends or siblings will make the dark feelings twice as bad.

Feeling jealous means you want to win the trophy, always play better than your team, get a promotion at the expense of others or do better on tests and exams.

Envy is often quite treacherous. The jealous person will pretend to be happy in the other person’s paths, for their success and achievements. However, they will secretly hope that the person fails. Behind the empty congratulations lies a deep desire to destroy for them.

Malicious joy

Envy is associated with a malicious, dishonest and immoral attitude, emotions that come together as strategies to defeat the person they envy. The jealous person tries to convince himself that the success of the other person is not as it appears. They underestimate and devalue both the person and the person’s success.

They may say things like “It’s just luck, not ability”, “They are not as intelligent as they want you to believe”, “Their success is guaranteed not to last very long ..” or “It’s just for show, not trust them ”.

If the jealous person manages to convince themselves that what they say about the other person is true, they will only fool themselves. They will probably feel better as a consequence, but that is far from true well-being and well-being.

However, the malicious joy of an envious person will become apparent in some of the following situations:

• When the person they envy fails.
• When the projects of the person they envy fail.
• When people newspaper the person they envy.
• When the person they envy experiences depression.
• When something the person they envy has written / worked on is rejected
• When a work colleague of the person they envy gets a promotion at the expense of them.

The effects of envy: Self-deception

This is when the envious person’s silent wishes come true. This is when they can place themselves above the person they envy. As a result of all this, they feel superior and will be able to restore their low self-esteem. However, this is a false self-esteem and will not really make them whole. This period of hurt joy and joy over the other person’s failure is what we might call malicious joy.

One of the most manipulative effects of envy is when the “enemy” of the envious person feels sad or depressed about everything that has happened. What unfolds in these situations will perfectly sum up how false the envious person really is. They will approach the person, incredibly satisfied with themselves, with a false friendship. They can show sympathy with expressions like “What a shame it did not go well ..” or, “Incredibly sorry, I really understand how you feel.”

Envy fills a person with all kinds of awful and uncontrollable emotions. They talk bad about the other person, and try to harm them in many different ways by:

• Deny them things.
• Marginalize them.
• Talk back to them.
• Violate them.
• Abuse them psychologically or physically.
• Act sarcastically.
• Mock them.
• Use irony or double meanings.

To replace envy with admiration

If you are not a chronically jealous person, you have probably experienced this feeling at some point in your life. It is also a feeling that is deeply rooted in human nature.

Behind every person who experiences envy, there is a person with a low self-esteem who, instead of trying to value themselves, chooses to despise others they envy in order to balance their self-esteem. However, this fragile form of appreciation leads nowhere when it comes to true and genuine self-esteem; it just causes you to think less and less about yourself.

What is certain is that if a jealous person realized what was actually going on, they would probably stop feeling jealous and envious. It is amazing that such a complicated feeling as envy can be more powerful than admiration for other people.

Admiration is a noble and pure feeling. It is a way to value and highlight the achievements of a friend, partner or family, and is about expressing it and letting them know. It’s a simple and relatively uncomplicated feeling. To truly feel admiration, however, you must be a balanced person. You need to see yourself positively, and as a result, be willing to compliment other people’s accomplishments.

Admiration allows us to ask the other person what they did to achieve those accomplishments, and thus also gain insight into the formula for success.