Let’s Talk About “boiling Frog Syndrome “

Sometimes we tolerate harmful situations and people for far too long, just because we follow the stated command thinking: “If there is no other solution, you must tolerate it”. This is just like the frog in our history.

And we can certainly not ignore the fact that many of us submit to our emotional well-being for other things. It also often happens that we not only have to keep thinking about our well-being, but that there are others who depend on us in one way or another as well.

We can also endure a breaking point situation for a very long time due to emotional dependence, a devastating relationship, or perhaps because we lack emotional intelligence to know what is normal and what is not.

Maybe you tolerate situations until you burn up, without being aware of the need to jump out in time to save yourself. This is why we want you to learn about the frog syndrome, who did not know he was cooking, an idea first explained by Olivier Clerc.

Boiling frog syndrome

Put a frog in a pot full of water and start heating the water. As the water temperature increases, the frog adjusts its body temperature as a result. The frog maintains itself by adjusting its body temperature at the same time as the water temperature increases.

Just when the water is about to reach its boiling point, the frog can no longer adjust itself. At this point, it decides to jump out. It tries to jump, but it is unable to do so, as it has used all its strength to adjust its body temperature. Very soon the frog dies.

What killed the frog? Think about it! I know many will say that the boiling water did. But the truth is that what killed the frog was his own inability to decide when to jump out.

We all need to adapt to both people and situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust and when we need to keep moving forward. There are moments when we have to come face to face with the situation and take the necessary measures.

If we allow people to make us “explode” physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually or mentally, they will continue to do so.
Let’s decide when to jump! We will jump while we still have the strength to do so.

What does this metaphor tell us about ourselves?

This metaphor has many implications for different situations in our lives, for our relationships, work, personality, health, etc. People who are wrapped up in a relationship that does them no good, always adapt to the partner’s wishes, opinions and blame themselves for not to tilt the boat; they think they can tolerate it, or that they have no choice but to do so.

However, tolerating things this way for too long will generally not lead to anything other than problems or situations that cause you to reach the breaking point. When we least expect it, we will end up in an extreme situation, we will not be able to tolerate it anymore, and we will have to jump, flee or at least devise an escape plan from this situation or relationship, but maybe we will already be seriously injured.

Maybe we no longer have the strength to face the last breaking point situation that has presented itself because we have no energy, we have no way out, we have not thought about it all before, or we are already too hurt or hurt to leave the situation for another that could get even worse.

Sometimes our ability to tolerate things goes quite far, but our strength and our hope burn up a little along the way.

A question of daily stress and acute stress

Richard Lazarus pointed out the different ways of facing stress, and also that there were two types of stress: chronic daily stress and acute stressful life events.

Usually we are told that stressful life situations such as divorce, death of people we know, loss of a home or work will affect us greatly, and perhaps this is true. But when we are faced with this type of event with major negative and threatening influences on us, we must prepare and face the situation: “jump in time.”

However,  daily stressful situations are the ones (even more so if they last a long time) that we have to worry about on a larger scale. Some of these events do not turn out to be negative for a long time. This is a case of abuse in the home, because we sometimes get positive treatment, other times negative, other times tolerable. In this way the discomfort always remains present; it continues to adjust itself until the situation is no longer bearable.

The best way to face this fact is to recognize it. That is, not to boycott our own emotions, to tell ourselves that it might be normal. If you feel bad about the same situation or the same person for a very long time, something is wrong.

You have to jump. It is not about fleeing, but about jumping off the ship, going face to face with the situation, and finding out what possible solutions are available. Remember that those who tolerate something for too long, rarely have enough strength in the end to try to change the situation. The damage may have already been done and internalized.