3 Silent Causes Of Most Violations

When couples separate, it can be very difficult and even traumatic. In fact, romantic relationships are one of the biggest concerns of many people in the world. They have become a scary territory. At the same time, they are something that many believe is necessary for happiness.

Couples do not often sit down together to evaluate their problems and decide that it is time to split up. Most fractures are abrupt for some. They are often surrounded by conflict, confusion and doubt.

Breakups between people who still love each other happen all the time. Maybe love is not shiny and new. It may not feel like it did in the beginning, but it’s still there. When it all ends, you feel that love even more intensely because you are able to measure the gap that the other person leaves in your life.

If you really love your partner and you want a long lasting relationship, it is always better to prevent a breakup. It is important to stay awake and not let corrosive factors dissolve your relationship. Among these factors, there are three that are common in fractures. They are:

Excessive criticism

In the beginning of a relationship it is just flattery. Later, many couples come to a point where the opposite happens. The criticism becomes all too common. This kind of question and doubt comes from a sense of disappointment that arises when the honeymoon period is over.

Some complain that their partner is not the “knight in shining armor” or the “enchanting princess” that they fell in love with. What they are very upset about is that the imagination they had was not fulfilled. They say that the other person “changed”. At some point, they feel misled when they discover that the other person is not the “soulmate” they dreamed of. Their partner is a person with everyday needs and unattractive shortcomings.

Criticism is important in some situations, such as at work or in intellectual discussions. It is not particularly useful in romantic relationships. You always have the opportunity to accept the other person, or not. But if you do not let him go or accept him, things can get very tense. Many violations could have been avoided if we worked to accept our partner as they are instead of trying to change him or her. There is a difference between someone who does not show us that they love us, and does not show love exactly as we want.

Defensive behavior

This type of behavior is common in situations of unresolved conflicts. All couples have problems. All couples experience situations that require forgiveness. But often we do not handle the problem properly, and it is lingering difficult emotions that still cause harm.

Defensive behavior also occurs when one partner is extremely insecure and becomes dependent on the other. Just like in the other case, the result is terrible for both parties. You feel threatened, whether it is real or imagined. The other becomes eternally suspicious. He begins to feel unfounded guilt or plays on controlling the other’s fears.

Given these relationships, the couple no longer feel connected by love, but by fear. Two people who should support and bring out the best in each other become undeclared enemies. They do not trust each other. They protect themselves from each other. At this point, they must either confront the problem and find a solution, or look up. A fracture can be healthy for both.

Conflict removal

Avoiding conflict is also a form of defensive behavior. This behavior is expressed in a passive or latent way. The logic is that by ignoring problems, arguments and distance, breaches can be avoided.

One partner may act in an inappropriate or harmful manner towards the other. Nevertheless, the one who is on the receiving end of this treatment remains silent. He does not say anything. He knows that it can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and can lead to a fracture. In this case, they stay together because of addiction and fear.

Unfortunately, avoiding conflict does not make the problems go away. When you leave a problem unresolved, it tends to grow, not fade away. Usually an unsolved problem causes a lot of anxiety. It can also cause a lot of sadness or even depression. And meanwhile, the main problem is getting worse.

Keeping together is not just about affection. You need intelligence to navigate the contradictions that come up. If you are interested in keeping love alive and avoiding a breakup, you must learn to communicate in a loving but direct way. Let go of your teenage fantasies, as they tend to cause more harm than good.