You Must Not Always Believe Everything You Think

You come to work and say good morning. Everyone answers you, except one guy, who does not even turn to look at you. Immediately your mind goes into high gear. And all you think is, “What’s wrong with him? Did I do something and he’s mad at me? But what? Maybe I annoyed him in the meeting that day… But I did not say anything personal, it was just a professional opinion. No, I’m not sure. So what? He’s just rude? ”

It’s so easy to fall into a vicious circle of rumination. You turn and turn something over and over in your head, and may even make you sad, angry or nervous at these thoughts. Is something really happening to your colleague? Maybe he did not answer because he was concentrating on his work. Maybe he did not even hear you. So why do our minds do this? What role do our thoughts play in making us feel bad? Keep reading to find out…

Is it the situation itself that disturbs you or just the way you interpret it?

As a general rule, when you experience negative emotions, you blame them on specific situations or other actions. You think you’re upset about things that you can not control. In other words, you assign external random additions to your emotions.

You get angry because your colleague did not say good morning. There’s something you can not control. What if instead of focusing on the reactions of others, you try to regulate your own emotions ? The only thing you can control is how you interpret the things that happen around you.

So what does that really mean? Well, that means you did not get angry because something external, beyond your control, happened to you. Your interpretation of the situation was what made you angry. You thought your colleague did not answer you because he is annoyed with you or because he is a jerk. Who would not feel upset about such thoughts? But if you look at it objectively, there is no real reason to be angry about what happened.

What if you had different thoughts instead of negative ones? What if you thought “He probably did not hear me” or “He is really focused on what he does, it’s nothing personal “. Do you think you will still be upset? Obviously not. In fact, you probably would not be bothered in the least. This is the perfect illustration of the role that your mind plays on the mood and your well-being.

Does everything you think reflects reality?

Thoughts can affect the mood even if they are not realistic. The fact is that most of us often do not ask ourselves whether what we believe is real or not. We believe in ourselves, and that’s it. So even if your colleague has absolutely no problem with you, you think he has it, and this thought becomes a fact in your mind. You get angry as if there was a reason to be.

So why does your mind work this way? Well, in general, people need to know why things are happening. If we do not have enough information about the facts, various disturbances come into play, and we draw our own conclusions. However, these conclusions are not necessarily the most realistic ideas. Along with that comes negative emotions that would not be necessary if we could align more with reality.

No one teaches you that what you think can be wrong. If you can learn to question your internal dialogue, you will be able to regulate your emotions more effectively. In fact, the influence your thoughts have on your mood can be a positive thing. How? Replace your negative ideas and internal dialogue with positive self-instruction!

This article is the first in a series of five articles on how to control things that go through your mind. The truth is that it is not easy. But with a little effort and dedication, you can make it happen. The first step is to understand and internalize the influence your thoughts have on your mood. That way, you will be aware of the importance of asking yourself questions and changing thoughts that do not reflect reality. Do not believe everything you think. You will be happier from it!

Photos courtesy of Roberto Nickson.