When Someone Says You’re Too Sensitive

“You’re too sensitive, you always make a big deal out of things.” Being told that they are sensitive is something many people hear every day. But instead of seeing this as harmless, people see it in different ways. There are some who find it annoying or harmful, and there are people who begin to have doubts about themselves and wonder if they are losing control.

Words can often do more harm than good to a weapon, we all know that. And there is an equally important extra factor – the way you interpret certain messages. Suddenly someone plumps out with a sentence you did not expect, a series of words that surprise you, words you have no idea how to process or digest.

“You are too sensitive. I can ‘t say anything to you. You make an overly big deal out of everything. ” Strange as it may sound, it is one of the most repeated messages in many of our relationships. It is also one of the messages that affects us the most.

The reason why the group of adjectives, verbs, nouns and articles has a negative effect on your thoughts is very simple: they invalidate your feelings. A mental siege that will greatly affect your thoughts leads you to wonder if you might have a problem.

This is why you need to understand what lies behind the term. What do people who say that to you think, and what should you do?

“You are too sensitive”, how many times have you heard it in your life?

Ana recently went out for a coffee with her colleagues. In the middle of the conversation, she explained how she has felt out of step with her boss in recent months, and that it has been very difficult for her to meet the goals he sets for her. And then one of her colleagues says this to her: “Come on, if you’re his favorite, you’re just too sensitive. You make an overly big thing out of it ”.

After hearing that, Ana became silent. Now, after leaving the cafe depressed and reflective, she tries very hard to treat the comment calmly. She knows that the message had a bad effect on her, and there is an obvious reason why it hurts – her relationship with the boss is very tense, they do not agree on things, and her work begins to wear on her. The comment hurt her because her colleague simply could not be receptive to a real concern she had.

This example may be extremely familiar to you. And you can doubt yourself. Is it true that I am thin-skinned and that I see problems where there are none? What if I really lose control? Before you reach that conclusion, you should think about some of the ideas we are talking about below.

What does it mean to be “too sensitive”?

First, we should clean up one important thing – ” being too sensitive” does not mean being “highly sensitive”. The two can actually be very different.

• “Sensitive” people are those who interact with other people and their surroundings from an emotional point of view. They are usually very aware of the quality of their relationships and the little things when it comes to human interaction. They talk openly about their mood and usually value the sincerity and respect of others. When others do not give them this, they suffer or feel annoyed.
• According to Tomkin’s theory of affect awareness, everyone has a personal script of how they understand and relate to their emotions. There are many people who have no idea about other people’s inner states. Instead, they will react to these people by believing that they are exaggerating everything.

• Nor can we omit the fact that there are people who will not empathize with your emotional reality at all. In fact, they will be uncomfortable with it.

So some will see excessive behavior in what are actually completely normal emotional patterns. The thing is, the person you are talking to just does not understand your sentimentality or your personality.

Do not let them hurt your feelings

Everyone reacts in their own way to certain things. Everyone has their own way of understanding, feeling and even experiencing the world. So for someone to tell you that you are too intense, too happy, too sensitive, or too emotional, it is just a way for them to cast a shadow over your personality, to invalidate who you are as a person.

The word “for” has a negative connotation here. So it would be better to use other terms and talk about the problem in a different way. Instead of using the cliché phrase “you are too sensitive”, it would be better to choose words that are more useful and productive. How about: “I think this affects you, how are you going to confront it? Can I help you with something?”

Since the last few things are not something people say very often, you need to make a quick personal assessment when someone notices you as “hypersensitive”. Being sensitive and seeing the world from an emotional point of view is not a negative or worthy punishment. It’s who you are, who you’ve always been, and that’s how you breathe, the way you feel…

So do not let it get too much into you when someone uses this inaccurate phrase. Ultimately, they just are not able to understand who you really are.