Emotional Vampires: Science Confirms It, Some People Consume Our Energy

We can call them emotional vampires. Parasitic. They are the type who infect us with their negative emotions, until they have drained all our energy. They leave us exhausted, with a dull ache and a gray cloud of depression over our heads.

According to researchers, this type of dynamic can completely empty our mental well-being. It has a strange effect on our brain.

It is interesting how popular psychology likes to use words that describe certain behavioral processes very well. “Emotional vampires” are a very good metaphor for people whose actions, words or attitudes drain us of blood – our energy.

But any expert on the subject will tell us that on top of stealing our energy – as they do, and this is how they have scientifically proven it – they also manage to infect us with their own emotional state.

Let’s use an example: we get a new colleague. When we get to know them, we realize that they never talk about anything positive that has happened to them. They are always in a “state of complaint”.

When we are with this person, even though we almost constantly ask ourselves, ” why do I have to listen to these things?” , We can not avoid them infecting us with their characteristic negativity.

Sometimes it even affects our work. In fact, there are interesting studies that call such people “rotten apples”.

It is through their negative attitude that they can “infect” the entire workforce with their own emotional burden. They manage to create sincere hostile environments where employees even take out a self-declaration because they literally feel “burned out”.

But the phenomenon of the rotten apple or emotional vampires goes much further than that…

What happens in your brain when the emotional vampire “sucks out” your energy

To understand what happens when we have to interact with or be near an abusive, negative or just exhausting person day after day, we take a short trip to the past.

Think about how our brain, due to natural selection, is programmed to see sociality and contact with our fellow human beings as not only positive but necessary.

So, what our ancestors did to increase their chances of survival was to form small groups.

Therefore, we need other people to feel good, connect and create meaningful bonds. When we do, the brain releases oxytocin.

But when we are not able to “fit in” with someone else, and instead get hostility or suspicion, our brain releases cortisol, the stress hormone. A certain feeling lives in our brain: the feeling of threat.

There is more. Something is happening in the sophisticated network of interconnected cells that make up our mirror neuron system.

This system is not just programmed to record and process every facial expression or body language a person has. A lot of the time, it also infects us with the same emotions that the people around us feel.

Researchers also say that some people are more susceptible than others to this “impregnation”. Little by little, it creates a poison.

How do we maintain a good energy level?

We want to tell you that when you are confronted with an emotional vampire, you just have to get away from them. But it’s not that easy.

Because if there’s one thing we all know, it’s that not many people can leave their jobs, just because there’s an emotional vampire there.

Nor can we put a permanent distance between ourselves and the mother or brother who steals our  happiness and energy when we are with them.

A good book to learn about this topic and dig deeper into scientific studies is ” Emotional Contagion, Studies in Emotion and Social Interaction “.
They explain how it is best to learn how to make yourself “waterproof” for this type of interaction. The goal is to protect our physical and emotional well-being.

Now we’ll give you a few tricks to get you started.

3 tricks to save energy

• You have defense mechanisms to control them. A very effective way we can train ourselves is to “deactivate” the effect they may have on us. For example, say this mantra to yourself regularly: “they will only consume my energy as much as I allow them”.
• Rationalization. Some people are used to just talking about negative things and how bad life treats them. One way to stop them is to rationalize: “Instead of complaining, stand up for what you do not like”. “I wish you would talk to me about something positive sometimes.”

• Learn to say “no”. This strategy is as simple as it is effective. From now on, make it clear to your emotional vampire that you do not have time to listen to their criticism. You will not join the gossip. And you especially do not want to be abused in any way at all.

To conclude, there comes a time when a person must become aware of their own needs in order to prevent others from exhausting their peace – their lives.

Given that it is not always possible to deal with people who want to bring us balance and happiness, we must learn to deal with negative people with respect, but firmness.