How Do You Generate Social Expectations? How Do They Affect You?

You interact with a lot of people every day. Some are celebrities while others are strangers. You have a concept of each of their personalities, which is derived from the interaction you have had with these people. This causes you to generate  a set of social expectations about the behavior  of each of them.

Social psychology has been strongly concerned with the study of expectations. Thanks to this, we know that they are closely related to the impression we have of others. First of all,  let’s take a look at and discuss social perception.

Social perception

People, who at birth have been deprived of the resources needed to be independent, require complex social relationships. Thus, the brain is prepared to experience our social environment and assess it. A very important part of controlling our relationships is knowing what the people who make up our social environment are like. This is where social perception comes into play.

A simple and interesting model used to explain this phenomenon is the model of social perception of Fishing. According to this model,  we will put someone into a category even if we have barely met them. And they will stay in this category unless the relationship gains a new depth,  and we discover something that encourages us to change their category.

In addition, if we are interested, we will try to prove whether their behavior adapts to this category. If not, we will adapt and change the category until we have categorized or conceptualized the person.

This is a very important process. Think of it this way: without it, the task of managing our social relationships will be much more complicated. It is important to remember that  it is a fast and useful process, but it is not precise. Humans have very complex personalities that have a strong interaction with context, which can hardly be included in categories. However, this little “mental shortcut” is useful for telling us how to treat people around us.

Once we have categorized our social environment and  when we have formed concepts for each of these people, we begin to create expectations. But  what are the expectations?

Social expectations

Social expectations are ideas we have of how someone in our social environment will behave in the future or in a particular situation. When we generate an impression of someone, these expectations are related to the image we generate. This helps us to imagine how we should behave or act around them and predict their behavior.

This behavior of generating expectations about our conditions fulfills an adaptive function. It’s pretty easy to guess what it is. In an artificial environment, based on complex societies that most of us live in,  assuming the behavior of others will allow us to adapt to our own behavior. This will be very useful in social interaction. Although this is not a precise process, it is better to make a prediction and make mistakes at times, than not to do it or never guess correctly.

It is important to know that these social or behavioral expectations greatly influence our own behavior. We do not treat everyone equally, just as we do not treat the same person the same way in all situations. We can see this in many everyday situations.

In addition, we try to get others to meet our expectations, either by forcing them indirectly or changing our perception of them. This process takes place in both directions. We are also aware of the expectations others have of us. So we also try to adapt our behavior  to satisfy these ideas.

A little reflection

Life is full of social expectations, both our own about others, as well as others’ expectations of us. In this sense, in order to keep our conditions comfortable, we tend to meet these expectations. Failure to do so can generate a room of uncertainty and thus anxiety. You have to keep in mind that this is not a precise process. Therefore, these expectations will often not be met.

An error in assigning an expectation leads to three situations. First, the person receiving the expectation will change his behavior to adapt to it. Second, the person who generated the expectation will change their perception to believe that their behavior matches the expectations. And third  , the connection between expectation and behavior is broken, and it is accepted as  a mistake.

The first two scenarios avoid social conflict and manage to maintain the relationship early. But the truth is that this can lead to big problems in the long run. This is because in the first case  , one person changes his behavior to satisfy the other person. This causes the other to generate an erroneous concept of reality. In the second case, the  person who created the expectation is lying. They unconsciously commit self-deception  about what the other person is.

Beyond anxiety, a closer bond

The third option is the one that causes the most anxiety, due to a lack of control over what happens. Despite this,  if the relationship overcomes or accepts this anxiety, a much more stable relationship will be achieved. It is possible that in the temporary relationship (for example with a neighbor), the first two alternatives are the right ones, since there is no long-term relationship or a close connection between them. However, it would be very negligent to behave like this with our closest friends or family.

How do you think you behave regarding your social expectations? How do you want to behave?