Like Moth Against The Flame – Choosing Suffering

Sometimes we feel that we can not escape situations that create suffering for us. This can happen no matter how much stress the situation creates to force you to leave it. In this context, it is relatively easy to fall into emotional dependence. This is how we experience the phenomenon that draws moths towards the flame.

In the context of addiction, forgiveness can become a deep fear that can also place restrictions on your actions. It is through the fear you place yourself on the sidelines of your own life. Instead of finding healthy and rewarding relationships, you can engage yourself in nurturing toxic situations. This is what usually happens when we experience being dragged like moths against the flame.

But what is it really about? What can you do to avoid falling into this trap? What are the benefits of becoming aware of all this? Let’s start the search for answers with an inspirational quote:

Like moths against the flame

Just as psychologist and author David Sola has suggested, this phenomenon refers to the complex behaviors that lead people back to situations that cause them suffering. More specifically, it often refers to previous, terminated relationships.

So, we are talking about a phenomenon where a person continues to return to a previous relationship. This also leads to greater suffering each time they return, because old problems tend to recur.

More specifically, think of people who do everything they can to be reunited with their ex. Maybe you know such a person? They send messages, make calls, buy small gifts, etc. In short, they do what they think is necessary so that their partner will not leave them for good.

But why compare it to moths being drawn to the flame? We use this metaphor because moths are strongly attracted to the light a flame produces. But the closer it gets to the flames, the closer it gets to suffering. Yet that suffering is not great enough to convince the mill to give up the flame.

One possible consequence of this phenomenon is a reduction in self-esteem. Self-esteem is one of the first things the flame will begin to eat through. Not only that, but it also develops into a loss of emotional control and a sense of reality.

How can you avoid being dragged like a moth against the flame?

We will show you a few strategies you can use to avoid being drawn to suffering like a moth against the flame. Take a look at these:

• Increased self-knowledge. Knowing yourself will help you recognize behaviors that are not appropriate or helpful. It will also help you understand why this behavior may seem attractive even if it may hurt you. Finally, this is the basis for eliminating such behavior from your set of behavior patterns.
• Improve your self-esteem. If you recognize your own worth, it is easier not to go beyond the boundaries that will safeguard your dignity.
• Stop idealizing people. Sometimes you see the person you love as a perfect being. While it may not go as far as perfection, you may end up considering them better than they really are. This motivates you to try to maintain the relationship even when the price of doing so is too high.

• Realize that there is nothing wrong with being alone. This depends on the perspective you have on being alone. Take advantage of the time you have alone, use it to think about yourself, what your dreams are and the activities you enjoy doing.
• Stop fooling yourself. That is, be aware of what is really going on in your life there, and be sincere with yourself.
• Try to understand things better. Try to get a clearer and broader perspective on the situation. Also, try to put yourself in the other person’s situation.

Remember that everyone has the right to be with whoever they want. In order to respect yourself, you must respect other people’s rights. This also applies when your ex does not want to continue their relationship.

The benefits of being aware of this phenomenon

If you are affected by this phenomenon of being dragged like a moth against the flame, you will get the following benefits by becoming aware of it:

• Your life will flow easier.
• You will be able to reconstruct yourself emotionally.
• It will help you recognize your boundaries as well as the boundaries of other people.
• It can help you free yourself through forgiveness.
• You will be able to work with your empathy.
• You can begin to find more meaning in your life.

In his book ” From Emotional Chaos to Internal Liberation “, David Sola shows you the importance of working with yourself to recognize this phenomenon. Once you have become aware of it, you can direct yourself to a new path to create healthier relationships and relationships that can help you improve your quality of life.

It is easy to fall into this trap of being drawn to the light like a moth against the flame. However, escaping from it is up to you. Remember that a good self-esteem, commitment, limitations and self-awareness are qualities that can help protect you from falling into this thought pattern.