Raise Your Children Without Shouting And Yelling: Raise Them Responsibly And From The Heart

If you are a parent or teacher, it is best to raise children without shouting and yelling.  Shouting is not educational or healthy for a child’s brain.

Far from solving something, what it does is activate two types of emotional responses: fear and / or rage. Let us therefore learn to educate and discipline with empathy and responsibility. From the heart.

Parents and teachers are often tempted to raise their voices to stop disturbing or challenging behaviors and tantrums that challenge our composure.

We can not deny it, there are many times like this, when fatigue mixes with stress and we reach our limit.

Giving in, resorting to shouting, is something that many people do. It is not a taboo among parents. In fact, some say that yelling, like rising, works, that it is helpful.

Let us look at this more deeply, because those who choose to raise children by shouting and see this as appropriate behavior have normalized it.

Maybe that’s how they were raised too. Now that they are adults, they are not able to use other tools, others that are more useful and respectful options.

Raising children without shouting or yelling is not only possible, it is necessary. Discipline, correction, guidance and teaching without the use of shouting and yelling have a positive impact on the development of a child’s personality.

It is an effective way to take care of your emotions and your self-confidence, by setting an example. It shows them that there is another way to communicate. One that does not hurt, one where we know how to understand and connect with real needs.

The neurological effect on a child’s brain

One thing that we as parents and teachers will have noticed more than once is that we sometimes lack resources, strategies and alternatives. We know that shouting and yelling are not helpful, and you never get the results you expect.

What we get is fear and anger in a child’s eyes. Therefore, we must learn appropriate methods without shouting, to educate and educate them positively and deal with these situations with intelligence.

Firstly, there is something that we should not lose sight of, and that is the effect that shouting has on the human brain and on the child’s neurological development.

The act of “shouting” has a very special purpose in our species, like all others: to warn of danger or risk. Our alarm system is activated and cortisol is released. This is the stress hormone that puts us in “fight or flight” mode.

In this way , a child living in an environment where shouting is abused as a strategy for upbringing will suffer from very specific neurological changes.

The hippocampus, the structure of the brain related to emotions and memory, will shrink. Also, the corpus callosum, the place where the two hemispheres of the brain come together, will have less blood gas, which affects a child’s emotional balance, their attention span and other cognitive processes…

Shouting and yelling is a form of abuse, an invisible weapon that cannot be seen or touched, but which is destructive in a child’s brain. This excessive, continuous release of cortisol puts a child in a constant state of stress and alertness that no one deserves.

Raising children without shouting or tears

Pablo is 12 years old, and does not do very well at school. His parents now take him to a tutor where he gets hours after school to strengthen various subjects, especially the most important ones.

He gets up every day at 8 and comes home at 21.00. This semester, Pablo has failed in three classes: two math classes and English. Two less than last semester.

When he comes home with his characters, his father can do nothing but yell at him. He mocks Pablo’s laziness and all the money they invest in him “for nothing”. He says again, “ you will never be anything. ”

After the reprimand, Pablo locks himself in his room and tells himself that his efforts are worthless, that he wants to quit school and leave home as soon as possible, away from everything and everyone, especially his parents.

This situation, which is not uncommon, is a small example of what screaming and misunderstood expressions at a given time can lead to. But let’s take a closer look at what something like this can do if it is continuous.

• The mind does not process the information delivered at high volume properly. Therefore, everything we say when we shout is useless.
• Every cry provokes a feeling, and in general these feelings are anger and a need to run away. Far from solving a situation, we complicate it much more.

How can I raise my children without shouting and yelling?

As we said, there are several options for shouting and yelling. These are strategies that can help us build a more reflective dialogue, a positive foundation for a healthier bond with our children. Let’s look at some basic methods.

• We must understand that basically shouting is losing control. It’s that simple. Therefore, when we feel a need to shout, we must hold our breath and reflect. If our first impulse to stop a 3-year-old tantrum is to shout, we must stop and understand that if we raise our voice, we will lose everything.
• There is always a reason for a behavior or a certain situation. Understanding and feeling empathy with the child is necessary to gain foundation. For that, you need two things: patience and intimacy. A child who explodes in a tantrum needs us to teach them to deal with their complex emotions.

The young person who is used to his parents telling him what to do all the time needs someone to ask him what he is thinking. How does he feel? What’s up? Someone who listens to them from time to time can be an ointment for this difficult phase, or for any age for that matter.

To conclude, raising children without shouting and yelling is most of all a personal choice that requires the will and daily efforts of the whole family. It should also be said that there is no magic key that will work in all situations and with all children.

However, there are some things that are useful in most situations: spending quality time together, giving understandable orders, establishing ourselves as figures for unconditional support, or encouraging them to take on responsibilities that are within reach of their age.