What Does Active Listening Mean For A Relationship

Do you know how to listen to people? Or do you just hear the words that come out of your mouth but miss the real meaning? Active listening is important for good interpersonal communication.

There are many definitions of active listening. Although they differ in some ways, everyone agrees that it is the ability to listen to two main ingredients: understanding and caring. These two characteristics form the basis of active listening.

When you practice active listening, a large part of your energy goes towards trying to understand the person speaking their message. In addition, we provide information to the speaker about whether we understand what they are trying to communicate. It thus means being psychologically available and aware of the speakers’ message.

The opposite of active listening is distracted listening. It is when you are physically present, but your thoughts are elsewhere. Mentally speaking, you prioritize something other than what the person in front of you shares.

As a result, you show that you do not appreciate what they are trying to say. This affects your ability to understand the message negatively. But active listening helps you to understand the feelings of others.

Our communication problems in today’s world are largely due to the fact that we do not know how to listen. We are constantly thinking about our own opinions. Our main goal is to let the other person know our views on what they are saying.

When this is the case, the communication basis is lost. Many of us mistakenly believe that listening is automatic. But that is not the case. Listening takes more effort than talking.

“If you want to be wise, learn to ask reasonable questions, listen attentively, follow calmly and be quiet when you have nothing to say.”

-Johann Kaspar Lavater-

If you really want to listen to others, read between the lines

We place great emphasis on oral communication. Despite this, between 60% and 80% of communication with others is non-verbal. For communication to be effective, there must therefore be a connection between speech and non-verbal expression. There is a parallel when it comes to active listening: it is as important to listen as it is to make them feel that we do.

Active listening means listening and understanding from the speaker perspective. We talk about the ability to understand their feelings, ideas and thoughts. Furthermore, understanding another person takes a certain degree of empathy. You need to be able to put yourself in their shoes.

Non-verbal language affects how we act and react, both for ourselves and for others. Listening to the message behind the words means understanding and interpreting what you see and hear. The term does not mean that you have to agree with everything the other person says. Still, it means you have to listen with apparent interest.

“When someone listens to us, unlimited joy is produced in the brain, which is similar to food or money.”

-Adelina Ruano-

Active listening is the best remedy for loneliness

Most people prefer to talk by listening. When we talk about ourselves, we activate areas of the brain that are related to pleasure. Therefore, it is logical that we prefer to listen to ourselves rather than to other people.

Dale Carnegie wrote a book that more people read in the United States than the Bible. The title was “How to win friends – how to make an impact and progress”. Almost the entire country utilized his philosophy and methods to improve their relationships.

Carnegie focused on the trust that active listening creates. That trust has a positive influence on personal matters. Trust also helps us to form new relationships and strengthens existing ones.

Active listening gives you the opportunity to create bonds based on mutual understanding. Forget what you do; Listen carefully to the other person. Even if what they tell you seems wrong or irrelevant. If you listen that way, they can express themselves just the way they want.

When you listen carefully, you feel that the speaker is relaxed without disturbing. They can express themselves to you and reveal their true feelings.

In conclusion, sometimes you have the power to help other people without lifting a finger. Most of the time, however, you are not aware of it. First and foremost, the gift of knowing how to listen can help you understand people better. It also makes other people feel more connected to you and improves your relationships. You can say that what you give will come back to you…

“When a friend asks for advice, it is not really your advice he wants. He wants to air out, and to be listened to. For him, it’s like getting the best advice. ”

Bibliography

Contreras, MM, & San Rafael, C. Learn to listen.

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Martín-Barbero, J. (1978). Mass Communication: Discourse and Power  (No. 04; HM258, M37.). Quito: Ciespal.

Subiela García, JA, Abellón Ruiz, J., Celdrán Baños, AI, Manzanares Lázaro, J. Á., & Satorres Ramis, B. (2014). The importance of the Active Team in the Enforcement intervention. Global Nursing ,  13 (34), 276-292.

Torres, ME (2005). Assertividad and active listening in the academic environment .