Why Do People Have So Little Self-love?

Do you have or do you know someone who has very little self-love?

Humans are social by nature. And there is a very simple and logical reason for that: millions of years ago, we needed others to survive.

Although we may not need other people as much as then , we still need care and attention from other people. We also need self-love, from the time we are born until we die.

Children need to feel safe, whether the feeling comes from their parents or another important person in their life with whom they have a secure and good connection. In any case, stability and trust will give them a future as emotionally strong, secure adults with a healthy self-confidence.

However, it is easy to see that very few people really show these qualities. Most people are not confident in themselves, do not trust their abilities, and can not evaluate themselves realistically.

Why is it so difficult to find a person who has unconditional self-love?

It seems that  lack of love, care, consideration and respect in childhood can be the source of low self-esteem. Other possible causes include overprotective parents, not having clear boundaries, and culture.

As an adult, it is time to heal the child who was missing so much and help her to love herself. No matter what others think about it.

The missing piece of the puzzle: When you have little self-love

Maybe you have always felt that you are missing something. Maybe you are physically attractive, successful professionally, and have a wonderful family, and yet it still feels like something is not right. Well, it is likely that you have little self-love.

They can continue to look for the missing piece, without realizing that they only find the piece that fits if they love, accept and embrace themselves.

There are many different reasons why one can miss the missing piece, something we mentioned above: childhood, culture, etc. The way we grow up, systematically punishes self-understanding and sees it as selfish.

Children get used to rejecting compliments, to talking badly about themselves, to saying yes when they really want to say no, and to many other unhealthy behaviors.

We have always been taught that we should put other people before ourselves, but that is not true. We cannot be there for others properly if we have not first met our own needs, if we have not prioritized ourselves.

This supposed egoism makes us bad people and makes others reject us. Because we do not want it to happen, we do everything we can to satisfy other people and neglect our own needs.

Therefore, the puzzle pieces that we find in our puzzle do not fit, and the empty feeling remains where it is. We do not love ourselves.

When you have little self-love, what can you do to love yourself more?

To boost your self-esteem, you need to start treating yourself well. One exercise you can do is write a love letter to yourself. The idea is not to be vain, but to be realistic. Just show yourself that you love yourself, as you would show other people that you love them.

It will surprise you how difficult this exercise is, since we do not usually praise ourselves. The little devil on your shoulder will try to tell you that you are selfish, narcissistic and a thousand other things. Do not listen to it; just love yourself.

It’s time to start looking at yourself more realistically. Get to know yourself: both your strengths and weaknesses. Stick to them and start trying things that you know you are capable of.

Do not tell yourself that you can not do it or that it will not go well, when you know deep down that you can and that it will.

As a final point, do something every day that brings you closer to your goals. If you meet a goal, reward yourself and be happy for yourself.

Your confidence will increase and you will see that you can really do it. But always remember that there is no such thing as perfection.

You will eventually begin to notice the missing piece of the puzzle that fits into the empty space, and you will not feel so dependent on external factors. You will not desperately demand love and acceptance from other people, because your self-love will make you feel complete.